1. I am the dollar thy God; thou shalt not have false gods before me.
2. Thou shalt not take the name of our lord Adam Smith in vain.
3. Remember to keep holy the Sabbath Day (unless otherwise profitable).
4. Honor thy father and thy mother so long as they embrace the "free market" (traitors must be turned in for re-education).
5. Thou shalt not kill.
6. Thou shalt not commit adultery (unless thou can get away with it).
7. Thou shalt not steal (Not applicable to CEOs and Politicians).
8. Thou shalt not lie.
9. Though shalt not covet thy neighboring countries' goods (Need not apply to superpowers).
10. Though shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife (see loophole in #6).

Shut up, work harder, and don't ask any questions, or we'll ship your job to some third world toilet (we'll probably do that anyway).

Commandments written by God, Anthony DiMaggio, and Matt Hindman